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68 U. Miami L. Rev. 87 (2013-2014)
FUTURLAWMA: 21st Century Solutions to 31st Century Problems

handle is hein.journals/umialr68 and id is 95 raw text is: FUTURLAWMA: 21st Century Solutions to 31st Century Problems JUSTIN S. WALES' I. INTRODUCTION ...................................................... 87 II. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!. .................................... 89 A. You can solve all of life's problems by freezing them! ................. 90 B. Why must you analyze everything with your relentless logic? ........... .92 C. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! .. .... 93 1. THE CAT, IS IT ALIVE OR DEAD? ALIVE OR DEAD?! ................ 94 2. IT'S A SUPERPOSITION OF BOTH STATES UNTIL YOU OPEN IT AND COLLAPSE THE WAVE FUNCTION................................. 96 III. A CLONE OF MY OWN................................................ 97 A. Illegal copies never hurt anybody ................................. 99 B. I happen to know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat! . 100 C. My little clone ................................................ 102 1. THERE GOES MY DNA. WHAT A DISGUSTING AND BEAUTIFUL PROCESS...................................................... 103 IV. CONCLUSION: A BIG WARNING......................................... 104 1. INTRODUCTION Having been inadvertently frozen in a cryogenic chamber for 1,000 years, Philip J. Fry finds himself facing the all-too-common fictional dilemma of adjusting to life in the distant future. Unequipped for the 31st Century, Fry joins the rag-tag group of humans, mutants, robots, Martians, and anthropomorphic crustaceans that work for Planet Express, one of New New York's less reputable parcel carriers. Led by Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, Fry's great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great nephew, the Planet Express crew supplies Fry with a job and a 1. J.D., University of Miami School of Law; B.A., University of California, San Diego. This paper is (not literally) the least I could do. Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Al Jean, and the (many, many) other writers of The Simpsons and Futurama have shaped the way I think of humor, politics, religion, and culture in a way that is likely not unique to members of my generation. Since (almost literally) my birth, I have been exposed to, and influenced by, their writing, and, as all great art does, it has inspired me both artistically and intellectually. With Futurama having recently come to an(other) end, I wanted to send it off the only way I know how-with a lengthy, esoteric, and likely to-go-unread law review article. I would like to thank the University of Miami Law Review for agreeing to publish this ridiculous paper, my fonfon ru Eva for a lot of things, Dr. John D. Zoidberg and Joshua Plager for a few things, and Joseph Ho for nothing. Ever. He knows what he did. To find out more about me, including what I do when I am not watching cartoons, visit www.justinwales.com. If by some chance a Simpsons or Futurama writer ends up reading this article, thank you. Your work has made the world smrter. 87

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