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90 Women Law. J. 29 (2004-2005)
How to Beat Men in Negotiations

handle is hein.journals/wolj90 and id is 173 raw text is: How To Beat Men In Negotiations By Ellen Malow Introduction Negotiations are used in every facet of our lives - business and personal. As attorneys, we constantly negotiate with our colleagues, opposing counsel, clients, mediators, and the court. The same skill set that we utilize as professionals can also be effective in dealing with family, friends, and signif- icant others.1 This article will first highlight some situations where women need to recognize that there is an opportunity to negotiate. It will then focus on capitalizing on our negotiation skills to effectively compete with our male counterparts. Seize the Opportunity We have heard for years that significant salary discrepancies exist between men and women. One would assume that by the 21st century the gap would be closed or at least narrowed. Disappointingly, recent studies indicate that this problem still exists across the board in all profes- sions. Researchers have found an answer as to why men get paid more than women, for the same job. Why? Women don't ask for a raise.2 There are many reasons why this occurs. Rather than outline each of these circumstances, this author prefers to focus on the solution. Women need to be assertive about their per- formance and accomplishments. Women should ask for bonuses and raises at every appropriate opportunity. Specifically, women should not wait until year end to ask for a raise. If an attorney brings in new business, she should negotiate a bonus at the time the business is landed. She should consider requesting a percentage of the fees generated if the case is handled on an hourly basis. If the case is on a contingency fee, she could seek a portion of the fee recovered. Women attorneys should price them- selves competitively with their male counterparts. Female attorneys should have the same hourly rate as male attorneys with the same level of experience. Overall, women need to expand the scope of situations that provide an opportunity to seek addi- tional compensation and advancement. The only way for women to even approach salaries received by their male counterparts is to take a proactive approach in their profession. Born to Negotiate There are natural skill sets inherent to women that help them win at negotiations. Some of the traits unique to women include: rapport building, empathy/sympathy, creativity and listening skills. Rapport Building Women may go about negotiation in different ways than men, but they're more than likely to make everyone feel like a winner. Women, for example, not only focus on relationships between negotiators more often than men do, they also con- sider the history behind the controversy at hand, reports Boston psychologist Deborah Kolb, Ph.D. Contrary to what experts believed in the past, these differences work to women's advantage. Women, for example, often pay attention to subtle cues that indicate how well negotiators are getting along, unlike men, who focus more on the task at hand. Men usually see negotiation as a contest of wills.3 These skill sets give women an advantage over men because most negotiations involve parties who have an ongoing relationship. The preservation of such a relationship is critical. For example, a woman who is negotiating with opposing counsel who employs these techniques is more likely to have continued positive dialog on any future nego- tiations. In almost any type of dispute, there is an ongoing relationship that should be preserved. There are a multitude of examples including: a divorce case involving children, a breach of con- tract action between buyers and sellers, a discrimi- nation suit by an employee against his employer, and a business entity dissolution. A woman's nego- tiation style can help maintain ongoing relation- ships without causing undue harm. Creative Solutions Women are more likely to be creative in developing solutions. Rather than focus on tradi- tional or expected outcomes such as cash-for- release, women may suggest apologies, or training for managers, or bringing in a third party to provide some needed services. Such creativity can break deadlocks and focus the discussion on the issues that really matter to the parties.4 In a wrongful termination case an employee may feel offended by the way the employer treated his departure from the company. Although he may assert a monetary claim against the employer, it may be that an apology can go a long way toward resolving the dispute. This solution is one more likely to be suggested by a woman. WOMEN LAWYERS JOURNAL - SUMMER 2005 - 29 (D 0 IO 0 Cl)

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