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90 Women Law. J. 29 (2004-2005)
How to Beat Men in Negotiations

handle is hein.journals/wolj90 and id is 173 raw text is: How To Beat Men In Negotiations
By Ellen Malow

Introduction
Negotiations are used in every facet of our
lives - business and personal. As attorneys, we
constantly negotiate with our colleagues, opposing
counsel, clients, mediators, and the court. The same
skill set that we utilize as professionals can also be
effective in dealing with family, friends, and signif-
icant others.1 This article will first highlight some
situations where women need to recognize that
there is an opportunity to negotiate. It will then
focus on capitalizing on our negotiation skills to
effectively compete with our male counterparts.
Seize the Opportunity
We have heard for years that significant salary
discrepancies exist between men and women. One
would assume that by the 21st century the gap
would   be  closed  or  at  least narrowed.
Disappointingly, recent studies indicate that this
problem still exists across the board in all profes-
sions. Researchers have found an answer as to why
men get paid more than women, for the same job.
Why? Women don't ask for a raise.2 There are
many reasons why this occurs. Rather than outline
each of these circumstances, this author prefers to
focus on the solution.
Women need to be assertive about their per-
formance and accomplishments. Women should
ask for bonuses and raises at every appropriate
opportunity. Specifically, women should not wait
until year end to ask for a raise. If an attorney brings
in new business, she should negotiate a bonus at the
time the business is landed. She should consider
requesting a percentage of the fees generated if the
case is handled on an hourly basis. If the case is on
a contingency fee, she could seek a portion of the
fee recovered. Women attorneys should price them-
selves competitively with their male counterparts.
Female attorneys should have the same hourly rate
as male attorneys with the same level of experience.
Overall, women need to expand the scope of
situations that provide an opportunity to seek addi-
tional compensation and advancement. The only
way for women to even approach salaries received
by their male counterparts is to take a proactive
approach in their profession.
Born to Negotiate
There are natural skill sets inherent to women
that help them win at negotiations. Some of the

traits unique to women include: rapport building,
empathy/sympathy, creativity and listening skills.
Rapport Building
Women may go about negotiation in different
ways than men, but they're more than likely to
make everyone feel like a winner. Women, for
example, not only focus on relationships between
negotiators more often than men do, they also con-
sider the history behind the controversy at hand,
reports Boston psychologist Deborah Kolb, Ph.D.
Contrary to what experts believed in the past, these
differences work to women's advantage. Women,
for example, often pay attention to subtle cues that
indicate how well negotiators are getting along,
unlike men, who focus more on the task at hand.
Men usually see negotiation as a contest of wills.3
These skill sets give women an advantage over
men because most negotiations involve parties who
have an ongoing relationship. The preservation of
such a relationship is critical. For example, a
woman who is negotiating with opposing counsel
who employs these techniques is more likely to
have continued positive dialog on any future nego-
tiations. In almost any type of dispute, there is an
ongoing relationship that should be preserved.
There are a multitude of examples including: a
divorce case involving children, a breach of con-
tract action between buyers and sellers, a discrimi-
nation suit by an employee against his employer,
and a business entity dissolution. A woman's nego-
tiation style can help maintain ongoing relation-
ships without causing undue harm.
Creative Solutions
Women are more likely to be creative in
developing solutions. Rather than focus on tradi-
tional or expected outcomes such as cash-for-
release, women may suggest apologies, or training
for managers, or bringing in a third party to provide
some needed services. Such creativity can break
deadlocks and focus the discussion on the issues
that really matter to the parties.4
In a wrongful termination case an employee
may feel offended by the way the employer treated
his departure from the company. Although he may
assert a monetary claim against the employer, it
may be that an apology can go a long way toward
resolving the dispute. This solution is one more
likely to be suggested by a woman.

WOMEN LAWYERS JOURNAL - SUMMER 2005 - 29

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