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17 Nova L. Rev. 941 (1992-1993)

handle is hein.journals/novalr17 and id is 973 raw text is: When on Mars

Arthur Garwin*
While mining for ore on Mars, earth settlers found evidence of an
ancient civilization that apparently flourished for centuries and then suddenly
disappeared. Artifacts revealed a culture much like our own. Linguists,
upon successfully learning to translate some of the martian language, dis-
covered one startling difference between the cultures. Martian society
greatly revered its lawyers, known as xzyqwyxwq (pronunciation unknown),
which literally translates as wise, virtuous and impartial seekers of truth and
justice. Archaeologists also came upon what appeared to be the xzyqwyxwq
rules of professional responsibility, which startlingly enough almost exactly
parallel the structure of the current ABA Model Rules of Professional
Conduct (leading historians to believe that martians and earthlings may have
communicated-a theory later supported by the discovery of photographs of
martians on earth in the company of Howard Hughes). The Martian Ethics
Rules, though similar in regard to structure and subject matter, differ greatly
from our own in terms of approach. Therefore, it is with an open mind
toward change that we present the loosely translated martian rules of
professional conduct for lawyers.
1.1 Competence
If during the initial interview with a client, a lawyer states on three or
more occasions, It's very technical and difficult to explain, just trust me,
the lawyer is not competent to handle the client's matter.
1.2 Scope of Representation
If a client is paying for a lawyer's services, the lawyer shall follow all
of the client's instructions, unless the instructions are illegal, immoral, or
cause the lawyer to lose sleep at night.
* © 1993 Arthur Garwin. Arthur Garwin is Assistant Professionalism Counsel in
the American Bar Association's Center for Professional Responsibility. His sense of
humor is on regular display as a writer and performer for the Chicago Bar Association's
annual Christmas Spirits production. His more serious writing includes bimonthly articles
for the Ethics column of the ABA Journal.

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