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17 Nova L. Rev. 825 (1992-1993)

handle is hein.journals/novalr17 and id is 857 raw text is: The Care and Feeding of TV Court Critics Gerald F. Uelmen* There was a time in America when courtrooms were one of the chief sources of entertainment and amusement. Watching a trial was like going to the theater, and part of the fun was picking up the next day's newspaper to see if the critic sized up the performances the same way you did. This era produced some of the greatest court critics ever. Let me offer some examples: First, an article that appeared in the San Francisco Call on September 29, 1864. It appeared under the headline, Advice to Witnesses. Witnesses in the Police Court, who expect to be questioned on the part of the prosecution, should always come prepared to answer the following ques- tions: Was you there, at the time? Did you see it done, and if you did, how do you know? City and County of San Francisco? You say the defen- dant struck the plaintiff with a stick? Please state to the Court what kind of a stick it was. Did it have the bark on, and if so, what kind of bark did it have on? Do you consider that such a stick would be just as good with the bark on, as with it off, or vicy versy? Why? I think you said it occurred in the City and County of San Francisco? You don't know anything about this assault and battery, do you? You have seen this defendant before, haven't you? Well-that's all. Say: did this occur in the City and County of San Francisco? The Prose- cuting Attorney may mean well enough, but meaning well and doing well are two very different things. His abilities are of the mildest description, and do not fit him for a position like the one he holds, where energy, industry, tact, shrewdness, and some little smattering of law, are indispensable to the proper * © 1993 Gerald Uelmen. Dean and Professor of Law, Santa Clara University School of Law. Co-author of SUPREME FOLLY (1990). This article is based on remarks presented to the mid-year meeting of the United States Trademark Association, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, on November 12, 1992.

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