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10 Va. J. Soc. Pol'y & L. 164 (2002-2003)
Easing the Pain of Divorce for Children: Children's Voices, Causes of Conflict, and Mediation - Comments on Kelly's Resolving Child Custody Disputes

handle is hein.journals/vajsplw10 and id is 174 raw text is: EASING THE PAIN OF DIVORCE FOR CHILDREN: CHILDREN'S VOICES, CAUSES OF CONFLICT, AND MEDIATION COMMENTS ON KELLY'S RESOLVING CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES Robert E. Emery* Without a doubt, Joan Kelly has been and remains one of the foremost experts in crafting interventions with divorcing parents designed to truly promote children's best interests in divorce. Her overview of legal and psychological interventions places the focus squarely where the focus should be, namely, on conflict in the relationship between former partners who remain parents., Like it or not, the relationship between two parents continues even as a marriage is ending.2 Because former partners cannot end their relationship, they must renegotiate if they are going to be effective co-parents and promote resilience in their children.3 Not all divorces are the same. Not all divorcing couples, or the professionals who work with them, are prepared at the same time to hear and accept the message that the parents' relationship is not over, that if you have children, you can never completely be divorced.4 Kelly recognizes this important dilemma and rightly focuses not only on parental conflict, but also on a hierarchy of interventions - at different stages in the divorce process - designed to promote more cooperative co- * Ph.D., Director, Center for Children, Families, and the Law, Professor of Psychology, University of Virginia. 1 See generally Joan B. Kelly, Psychological and Legal Interventions for Parents and Children in Custody and Access Disputes: Current Research and Practice, 10 Va. J. Soc. Pol'y & L. 129 2002). See Robert E. Emery, Renegotiating Family Relationships: Divorce, Child Custody, and Mediation vii (1994). 3 See generally, id. 4 Id. at 33.

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